


someday you'll find all who love are blind

by thekaidonovskys



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Glasses, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2030817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekaidonovskys/pseuds/thekaidonovskys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Dr. Geiszler,” Marshal Pentacost says wearily, “we are at war. Vanity is not an option.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	someday you'll find all who love are blind

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted by Tumblr user thekaidonovskys

“Mother _fucker_ ,” Newt groans, and lets the letter slip out of his hands.

“Kindly keep your uncouth language outside of the laboratory,” Hermann says. Then, after a moment and with a little anxiety; “They haven’t slashed our budget again, have they?”

“There’s no budget  _to_ slash,” Newt points out with a sigh as he looks up. “Nah, you’re all good man. It’s just me.”

“What’s happened?”

Hermann actually looks worried, so Newt figures he’d better stop that in its tracks. “It’s just the company that does my contacts. They’re shutting down.”

“Oh. So you have to find another -“

“There aren’t any. These guys were the last ones.”

Hermann frowns. “How bad is your vision? Will you get by without them?”

Newt shakes his head. “I can see about a foot in front of me on a good day.” He sighs again and stands up. “Gonna have to go make some calls, see if I can pull any strings. Can you survive without my presence for half an hour?”

“You mean can I handle the extraordinary peace and quiet that falls whenever you leave? Yes, I daresay so.”

Newt smirks. “You know you’d miss me if I wasn’t here,” he teases, and doesn’t bother listening to Hermann’s grumpy reply as he heads out. He’s got bigger fish to fry right now.

***

“… and there’s  _nothing_ you can do -“

“ _We’re very sorry, Dr. Geiszler, but the last Kaiju attack took out our only remaining workshop. If we do set up again, it will take at least a year to gather the resources we need.”_

Newt refrains from banging his head against the wall. “Okay. So no stock, no chance of making any more for a year… fuck. Sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I’m just kind of out of options.”

_“Do you have glasses?”_

Newt pulls a face, but opens his nightstand drawer. “Yeah,” he admits, pulling out the hated case. “Just the one pair though.”

“ _We’ll have you at the top of our list when we are operational again, and I’ll check around my suppliers one more time. But for now, I think that’s your only option.”_

Newt sighs. “Okay. Thank you.”

He hangs up, stares at his glasses, then promptly sets them aside and heads out of his room.

***

“Dr. Geiszler,” Marshal Pentacost says wearily, “we are at war. Vanity is not an option.”

“But I - it’s not vanity. It’s practicality -“

“Glasses are more practical than not being able to  _see_. I cannot help you on this matter. Are you on your last set of contacts?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I expect to see you wearing your glasses tomorrow or else we will be having words. I do not have time for childish petulance. Do you understand me?”

Newt sighs. “Yes, sir.”

***

“It’s not  _petulance,”_ Newt mutters petulantly as he walks slowly along the corridor, dragging his feet. 

“Sounds like it,” says a voice, and Newt looks up to see Tendo, two mugs of coffee in hand, one of which he’s holding out to Newt. “I think you need this more than me. What’s going on?”

“No more contacts.”

“Bummer. You knew it would happen eventually, though.”

“Yeah but…”

Tendo shakes his head, takes Newt by the elbow and leads him back to the break room. “Right,” he says, sitting him down and taking the seat across from him. “Whatever hangups you’ve got about your glasses, you’ve got to stop. What’s the big deal with them, anyway?”

“Try spending fifteen years of your life being told what a geek you are. You’ll lose them pretty fast.”

“Newt,” Tendo says seriously. “You are a geek, man.”

Newt rolls his eyes with a reluctant smile. “Yeah, I know and I’m cool with it now. But they’re just… kinda associated with a bad part of my life, y’know? And people around here already look down on me enough, I don’t need a reason for them to think I’m weirder.”

“Who looks down on you?”

“Chuck.”

“Chuck looks down on everybody… except the Kaidonovsky’s and that’s because he’s not tall enough and doesn’t have a death wish. Who else?”

Newt thinks. “Herc doesn’t think much of me -“

“Herc respects the shit out of you, Newt. He just doesn’t get what you do, so he doesn’t try to talk to you about it and make an idiot out of himself. Same for the Wei triplets and the Kaidonovsky’s. I’m your friend, Mako loves you, and of course Pentacost thinks you’re an annoyance but he respects you as well. So that just leaves…”

“Hermann.”

“And Hermann has glasses.”

“But not for all the time,” Newt argues. “And he’s not…”

“C’mon, spit it out. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to give him more reasons to think I’m inferior.”

Tendo sighs. “Because your  _eyes_ are inferior? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. He knows about the contacts, it’s not like you’re pretending you’ve got 20/20. Look, I know you’re madly in love with him -“

“Dude, shut  _up_.” 

Tendo laughs as Newt looks around to check they’re alone. “Newt, the whole goddamn place believes you two are having angry hatesex down there, don’t even panic. Anyway, Hermann thinks you’re a cockroach, remember? But he respects you in his own way and that isn’t gonna change because you have to put some frames on your face. How bad can they be?”

“Bad.”

“I seriously fucking doubt it.” Tendo checks the time, then swears and stands. “Gotta get back. But look, come up tomorrow and let me see and I promise, they won’t be anywhere near as awful as you think. And Herms is still gonna love you.”

“ _Shut up_.”

***

He goes back to the lab and tries not to think about it.

“Any success?” Hermann asks after awhile.

Newt sighs. “I won’t be going blind anyway,” he says, and lets Hermann take that as he will. There are no further questions, so he doesn’t elaborate, and they fall back into their usual silence. 

***

Newt drags himself out of bed the next morning and into the bathroom, splashing water on his face and squinting at his appearance. He reaches for his contact case, finds air, and then remembers.

“Fuck,” he groans, and stumbles back to the bedroom. “Fucking  _fuck_.”

He puts his glasses on, wincing at the unfamiliar (but  _familiar)_ feeling of metal on the bridge of his nose, then sighs and goes back to the bathroom to check the damage.

It’s just like he’s expected. 

“What kind of goddamn rockstar wears  _glasses_?” he mutters to himself as he turns his back on the mirror and goes about getting ready. “Maybe I can go without them…”

Newt takes them off, picks up the toothpaste tube and manages to miss the toothbrush entirely. He sighs again and puts them back on. 

When he leaves his room, Tendo’s hanging out in the corridor. Newt raises an eyebrow at him and Tendo returns it, nodding slowly. “I don’t see the issue,” he says. “Seriously. You look like a scientist.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“I thought it was. Stop being so insecure and go to your lab, get it over with.”

“Thanks, man. Great support there.”

Tendo rolls his eyes and walks away. Sighing yet again, Newt follows Tendo’s instructions right to the door of the lab, then stops. 

He can’t make himself go in.

It’s  _stupid_ , so fucking stupid to be so hung up on a pair of  _glasses._ But Hermann’s already got so much to be disdainful about when it comes to how Newt looks and Newt kind of really  _likes_ Hermann (and whatever Tendo says it’s not love, it’s  _not_ ) and really does want his approval and maybe he’s not gonna get it but what he  _doesn’t_ want is his scorn. Because they can bicker all they like and discredit each other’s work, that’s just _them_ , but when it comes to Newt’s appearance it actually does cut a little deep. 

He’s never told Hermann, of course. And he’s not gonna. But it’s understandable that he’s a  _little_ trepidatious about entering the lab. 

Still, he has to. The world doesn’t stop ending because a scientist has insecurities about his face.

Straightening the glasses one more time, Newt takes a deep breath and enters. “Morning, Herms,” he greets as cheerfully as possible, going straight to his desk and sitting down without looking up. “Early start?”

“Earlier than you, as usual, and I have told you  _many_  times not to call -“

Hermann breaks off and Newt tries not to squirm, waiting for the hammer to drop. He gives it a few seconds, then curiosity wins out and he looks up to see Hermann staring. “Hermann?” he asks.

Hermann blinks, then immediately spins back to his board. “Yes, thank you, that is my name and I would prefer you use it,” he says, his voice a little rapid. 

Newt frowns, because that’s kind of not the reaction he’d expected. “You okay, dude?”

“Perfectly fine.”

And Newt knows that’s not true because Hermann  _never_ lets him get away with calling him  _dude_. “Is it the glasses?” he asks, hating how his voice gets a little quieter. 

Herman freezes. “I - I thought you had arranged to get more contacts, is all,” he says, and there’s still something a little strained about his tone. “I hadn’t expected you to be wearing glasses.”

“Yeah, well, shit happens.” The lack of reprimand for his profanity has Newt raising an eyebrow. “They, um, they said there’s no way for me to get more until probably after the war,” he adds, beginning to worry about Hermann’s silence. “So I’m stuck with these. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologising to me?”

“Well you’re acting a little weird,” Newt begins, then actually considers biting his tongue off. “I mean, I know I look kinda different and it’s not the best kind of different but there’s nothing I can do about that and -“

Hermann turns back, and he’s frowning. “You think you look bad?”

“Yeah, well, y’know. A bit… dorky?”

“Is that not what you are anyway?”

Newt sighs. “Yeah,  _but -_ “

“You look distinguished,” Hermann says quietly, and Newt snaps his mouth shut. “Smarter.”

Newt stares, noticing the tips of Hermann’s ears are now red. “Really?” he finally asks. 

“Heaven knows you need to,” Hermann snaps, and quickly turns around and resumes writing.

Newt sits and grins at the back of his head for awhile. 

***

He wears his glasses with a bit more pride after that. 

***

“ _Dr. Geiszler?_ ” comes the voice down the line, a week and a half after the breach has closed.  _“We’re back in business and, as promised, you are at the top of the list. How many sets would you like to order, and what will be your shipping address?”_

Newt looks across their half-empty lab, all the boxes packed up and ready to be sent off to Geneva tomorrow. He reads the address off one of them, opens his mouth and -

Pauses.

Considers.

Looks over at Hermann, who’s frowning at him, clearly wondering what’s going on, and certainly taking more interest than he had six months ago. 

Then smiles. 

“Tell you what,” he says. “I’ll take a few sets of contacts, but what I could really use is a couple of good pairs of glasses. Do you reckon you could hook me up?”

He looks back to Hermann, who returns his smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> Because I wear glasses and society tells me I should be ashamed of them and should need to wear contacts and, well, fuck that kids. 
> 
> Title from "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes".


End file.
